Strong Personalities Who Know What They Want

My handsome boys :)

Every time I talk with parents, I explain how Eli Tzvi and Ziona Sofia are high energy, independent, in your face, non stop kids, and they have been like that from the womb.  They have both been needy, always wanting something, and quite a handful.  When Matisyahu came along, we were wondering if we were doing enough, he was just OK, and only fussed when something was really wrong.  We are so grateful for his demeanor, especially after our first two, but I always say, I love that my kids know what they want, ask for it and go after it.  It really will serve them later in life, I would rather have them super intense instead of scared, not sure, and afraid to just dive into life.  The challenge is that my husband and I are also strong personalities, so when our children's strong personalities are in our face, we have to learn not to fight fire with fire, but to make the kids feel they are in charge, even when we are pulling the strings.  Easier said than done, and I guess that is what we try to navigate for the rest of our lives as parents.

I am always in awe how every child is a completely different being, soul, character, personality, and I am so grateful for teachers that understand that, and love and respect each child for their traits and energy.  So important not to lump them in a group, so important to let each one thrive.  Even with siblings, they are so different, to make them all sit down, be quiet, watch TV, read a book, play a game, might not work, they might want to do different things.  Luckily my older two play so nicely together, but when conflict happens, I try to separate them to do other things.

I guess it is all a work in progress, I am trying my best to fully listen, but also to be clear when I need to do something, and communicate effectively to them, that what I need to do is important to.  It is bargaining, negotiation, debate at its best.

They are all miracles.

Sometimes we think they should just know something automatically, especially as when they are super young, but they do not, so its up to us to be patient, teach them, reward them, recognize them, encourage them, and celebrate with them :)

All good advice,
I hope I start doing it on a regular basis,
LOL
Coach Yulia